Man Oh Jeezle Pete! ‘Tis the season once again, can you believe it? The political season, that is. We have almost truths, half-truths, and not-a-lick of truths buffeting us like a blizzard. Truth. As elusive as the winter mittens you were sure you’d stashed in a place impossible to forget.
Just as you might have many closets to look for your mittens, there are lots of places to look for the truth. Too many places, in my opinion. There is Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, ABC, CBS, NBC. I look in The Economist, Time, Newsweek. I check out websites like The Huffington Post, The Daily Caller, and Politico. I even give Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert a glance, because if nothing else I can laugh while I’m ripping around searching.
But I have to check all of these sources and more before I can cobble together what I think is the truth. By now, I’m exhausted and cranky. I’m talking PMS or hot-flash kind of cranky. I’m living in a culture where truth has become subjective and Where’s The Justice in that?
On one hand it’s spawned a whole new industry and we all agree that the country needs more people working. We now have an army of “fact checkers.” But I have a novel idea: Why don’t they get on the job before the speech is given? Why do I have to wait to find out if what I just heard in that inspirational discourse is the truth? I’m so enthused that I’m on my feet dancing, but turns out my partner is a spin doctor… and we’re not talking vinyl disks here.
I can’t be the only exhausted, cranky voter in search of the bare bones truth. I’d wager there are millions of us out there feeling ornery because discovering veracity shouldn’t constitute a journey equal to a walk across the country, scaling Mt. Everest, or swimming the English Channel.
So, after having studiously watched both the Republican National Convention and the Democratic National Convention, what I’d like to do is demand that ALL candidates be hooked up to a lie detector while speaking.
Or better yet, let’s take advantage of neuro-technology like my friend Jake Stauch makes feasible with his company, Neurospire. Yep, with Jake on the job maybe we could see if any of these speechmakers are even thinking about the truth. Wouldn’t that be fun?
Then, why don’t we display the results on a jumbo-tron mounted above them. Maybe we could throw in a big guy with a mallet who delivers a punch to the head when they get it wrong. Man Oh Jeezle Pete! Talk about fun! Not to mention the free time I’d have on my hands.
By now, I’ve checked every closet, every winter coat pocket and I still can’t find my damn mittens. I’m hoping their loss isn’t a harbinger in terms of truth surfacing sometime this election season.
If my mittens don’t turn up in the next couple of months I can always buy a new pair. The truth? I’ve got a call in to Jake now.