Left wing, right wing…whatever. Me? I sit in the middle. It makes sense to me, you see. Because I’m “middle-aged” (fifty-ish is the new middle age, right?) I’ve made an effort to find a zen-like balance in my life. Everything in moderation, I chant as I smile peacefully.

I enjoy harmonious music, words strung together in a tapestry of beautiful prose, and paintings that evoke emotion. I subscribe to the golden rule, and renew that subscription every day during my deliberate meditation.

So, imagine my surprise when I started tasting rage in my gullet as I tuned in to watch the new reality series…The Real Assholes of Washington DC. I tried to delete it from my DVR, but there must be something wrong with the damn thing. This new show is on every channel.

It’s changed my eating habits. I’m now on the angst diet. For those unfamiliar, I chew my cuticles instead of eating real food. Between you and me, these cuticles make me…well…gassy.

I got snarky with a customer service rep regarding a $5.00 credit to my account. My desperation felt so real… like I was in dispute over $100,000.00. Who in the hell buried my golden rule?

I’m wondering if anyone knows how to get this freakin’ reality show off my damn DVR. It’s ruining my life!

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